Now that I'm almost 3 weeks post-op I can say that there were things on those lists that were game changers for me and things I never used. Below are a few items that fall into the first category that I want to encourage folks to think about having with them:
A person who is kind, patient, and good to you and your body - In my case, this was my partner. Not only did I need the emotional support (and patience) of a kind human being, there were things that I either couldn't do on my own or that would have taken me all day to accomplish had I not had someone else around. My partner helped bathe me in the shower and reach parts that I couldn't. He helped put bacitracin over the sutures, especially in places I couldn't reach. He changed my arm dressing every day (virtually impossible to do one handed). He helped make food (although we ate out or got pre-made stuff a lot), did the dishes and laundry, and helped me arrange my medicine cycle and alarms. I had little to no energy in the first two weeks, limited mobility, and was in pain/drugged up. There were also times where I just couldn't bare looking at or touching certain areas of my body - it was emotionally overwhelming and sometimes scary. I cannot imagine doing this without him. He was also another set of eyes on my body to see if there were any trouble spots or things of concern. And, he was a super cheerleader - reminding me how great it looked, how well I was healing, and to keep the big picture in mind. I think a family member could have helped in a similar fashion, but I would have had to do more of the showering/wound care on my own and I don't think the experience would be as body-affirming.
A blow dryer with a cold setting - I have used this at least once a day since I was released from the hospital. Not only are there places after a shower that I didn't want to or couldn't fully dab dry, but a large swath of the xeroform on my right thigh weeped for a solid 3 weeks, mostly after each shower. It was easy to step out of the shower, dry most of my body down with a towel, and then grab the blow dryer to get the sensitive parts and the thigh. It's important to have a cold setting because of the lack of sensitivity we experience post-op. I couldn't really feel the heat when the blow dryer was aimed at my genitals or even at my thigh, so I kept it on the cool setting so I didn't burn myself.
Towels - Staying clean and sanitary is an absolute must after surgery. I used a different clean towel after each shower (daily) and since we didn't have a washer/dryer in our rental unit, we had to buy a few more towels so we'd have enough in rotation in between trips to the laundromat. Early on (weeks 1-2), I ended up accidentally getting blood/goo on some of the towels, so we stayed away from white ones when we made our purchase and I got careful in avoiding touching certain areas and using the blow dryer instead. You may also want to consider getting extra sheets for that matter. The more you can rotate in clean items, the better.
A wedge pillow or recliner - I think the items that dramatically helped my comfort post-op was having a wedge pillow and a leg pillow for my bed. I was able to lay with my head up in a comfortable/reclined manner and laid that way all day and even through the night during the first two weeks. Propping pillows is an option, but it's just not the same. I did that when I had chest surgery and the problem is that layers of pillows still sink in the middle and move around when you get in/out of bed. Adjusting them is a pain. The wedge was solid, stable, and very comfortable. I put my memory foam pillow on top of it and was set! The leg pillow I already had since I'm a side sleeper and I usually put it between my legs at night. In the propped position, putting this under my knees allowed my back and body to be in a more natural position. All I can say is I remember trying to recreate this with pillows and blankets when I was healing from chest surgery and was unsuccessful. These two pillows were a life saver. And, I put recliner in here because one of the ICU nurses mentioned another guy found that to be a lifesaver during his recovery period and he was able to rent one for a reasonable price and have it delivered to where he was staying. It's the same concept, I think - being able to lay comfortably for the period of time where that's literally all you're doing.
Pill baggies - This was a great recommendation from another guy. I got a pack of 50 and could have gone with more/less. The first week I was taking several medications and a bunch of supplements (I stopped most of these after the first week due to stomach irritation) and it was really helpful to be able to set my medication schedule, put the pills in labeled bags, and keep those bags by my bedside for every time my alarm went off. It was most helpful in the middle of the night. I'd have my 4-5 pill bags by my side and just lean over to take them, checking that the label on the bag matched the time on the clock. There's a lot of medication to take at exact times and danger in taking the wrong ones. And, it's not easy to keep things straight when you're waking up every few hours in the middle of the night to take your meds. These simplified the process, drastically.
Comfy loose clothes - I sought emotional respite in the physical comfort that some of my clothes brought. These "creature comforts" seem to be few and far between when recovering from surgery and having clothes that were soft and loose on my skin and that kept me climate controlled were everything. I expect you'll want that too. Surprisingly, there were things I ended up wearing daily that I didn't expect I would: 1. A hooded sweatshirt that I ended up cutting half of each sleeve off of on top of a t-shirt. And 2. Boxer shorts (preferably old, soft, and loose ones). 1. Even in Austin, TX, I find that my comfy/cozy place is in a hooded sweatshirt. I brought one of my larger ones down with me knowing I'd probably live in it. Nope. No matter how baggy the sweatshirt was itself, the arm and wrist portions were still tight on my arm brace and that was really uncomfortable. Not wanting to ruin that shirt, I went to Target and bought a cheap, very soft, normally-sized hooded sweatshirt that I cut the arms off of at the elbow. Perfection! I wore that bad boy over a t-shirt every single day, even after the brace came off. 2. Boxers - In the hospital, they started draping a "modesty cloth" over my penis so that people coming in to bring me food or clean the room didn't have to come face to face with my dick every day. For some odd reason, I kinda got used to this and put a portion of one of my disposable pads over me when I was laying around (like, 95% of the day). It also helped cover the goopy areas that were covered with bacitracin, keeping that from getting all over my blanket while sleeping. At some point, I realized that the disposable pad was trapping in tons of heat and moisture (not great when you're trying to keep that area dry) and having nothing on from the waist down all day kept me feeling infirmed. It was fine being partially nakey for several days, but at the 2-week mark I was done and the mesh underwear I had with me was too tight for daily use. The mesh underwear provided great support for daily excursions, but not for laying around. Here come boxers, with enough room for me to drape my penis down one of the legs (it kept coming out the bottom to say hi) and to prop it up while I was laying around. Since I was using less bacitracin at this point, the boxers provided nice breathable coverage for my genitals that I could cover with a blanket at night. They did get some goop/blood on them, and while most of that washes out, you may want to hold off on wearing your favorites for a while.
Multivitamins - I started off my post-op routine taking a ton of supplements that were suggested by other guys only to find that between supplements and the medication I was getting horribly painful acid reflux and indigestion that wouldn't go away. At my first post-op appointment I found out which drugs I could stop and which ones I actually needed. I cut out all supplements with the exception of the Cranberry Pills (to reduce UTI's) and I started weaning off the muscle relaxers, the anti-anxiety pills, and lowering my pain meds. Within 48 hours my symptoms were gone. At this appointment, the PA suggested I take a multivitamin and get as much protein in my diet (or with supplement powder) as I could. The multivitamin I chose is Nature's Way Alive! Adult Gummies. I take three a day and they're tasty.
Baby wipes (Pampers Sensitive) - I could probably write a book about baby wipes a la "100 uses of duct tape," so take this as you will. First and foremost, there is no toilet paper soft enough to wipe your butt with after a vaginectomy. None. Doesn't exist. That area between the scrotum and rectum is tender and full of sutures. It wasn't actually that painful for the first few weeks with the exception of a few spots, but in general, I can't imagine trying to use toilet paper (sutures and scabs, remember). Butt wipes are great for this. Two big suggestions on this front. 1. Try to throw them out rather than flush them, especially if you're using more than one each go around. They can cause major clogs in plumbing, especially older/shoddy plumbing. And 2. go with Pampers. I found out the hard way years ago that I have a sensitivity to a preservative (methylisothiazolinone or methylchloroisothiazolinone) found in more than half of the baby wipes on the market. Pampers Sensitive are also alcohol and perfume free. The last thing you want is to find out you have skin sensitivities to these ingredients while you're recovering from surgery. In addition, I used the wipes to clean the valve on the catheter after every time I used it to drain my bladder.
Latex-Free Gloves - Again, you don't want to find out that you or your caregiver have a latex allergy at this point in the game. We've almost emptied our 100 count box now three weeks in. We put them on for dressing changes, for putting on bacitracin, for when I want to inspect things. And, we put them on then pump Purell on them before touching anything. Seriously, keeping everything as sanitized as possible is incredibly important. The opportunities for infection are endless and it's so easy to just grab gloves if you have a stack handy. I got purple nitrile exam gloves in Large. I probably could have gone with Medium, but my partner has bigger hands than I do. While the black are pretty bad ass, I thought it would be easier to see blood, etc., on the purple than on the black.
Disposable Underpads (Chux) - I use at least 2 each day and have them draped over wherever I am sitting or laying down. Not only do they keep me from touching unsanitized fabrics on chairs, couches, beds, etc., but they also keep me from leaving little spots of blood everywhere. I'm 3 weeks out and from time to time I still expel a drop or two of blood from the tip of my penis and, especially after shower and bacitracin time, I goop/bleed in tiny spots on whatever I'm sitting on. I dispose of them every day to keep things clean and was able to get a few packages of 25 online for a modest price.
2 Graduated containers - The primary purpose of these is to be able to measure the amount of urine that comes out of your penis vs. what's left in your bladder (that you expel through your catheter) once you start urinating. The suprapubic catheter needs to stay in until you're consistently urinating 2/3rds or more of the contents of your bladder out of your phallus. How would you know unless you were measuring it? Having 2 can be helpful if you have a fistula or leak and want to measure how much is coming out of that hole(s) vs. your phallus. Additionally, I preferred putting the container on top of the toilet seat and urinating in it, instead of in the toilet, after surgery. This allowed me to have a sense of how much I was urinated vs. how much I was drinking and the color was easier to see (undiluted by toilet water) so that I could be more sensitive to how hydrated I was. I got two that were tall and triangular.
Entertainment device - There is a lot of laying around that happens for hours and hours and hours. I love to read and brought a few books with me, but it took me at least 2 weeks before I could read again. I tried earlier, but between the anesthesia and pain meds, I felt woozy and couldn't concentrate. Hence, needing some passive entertainment. We brought our smart TV device which had our movie libraries, streaming services, and rentals all at the tip of our fingers. Early on, it was more background noise since I slept a ton or just stared, and then around weeks 2 and 3, it was a much-needed form of entertainment. I made daily outings for 1-2 hours at a time, but that's it. I would have gone a bit stir crazy without it to keep my brain occupied. It also helped to have my tablet and computer to keep in touch with friends and the outside world.
Arm covering for shower - I had to have my arm covered during my shower for the first 2.5 - 3 weeks post-op while still showering every day. While not ideal, I got the seal tight cast/bandage protector. It absolutely kept the water out and I had no fears of getting wet in the shower. The down-side is that it was so tight that it required someone else pulling it open for me to get my arm in, and the grip stymied the blood flow and made my arm ache slightly after using it. You might be able to find a better option, but in general it was a relief to have a reusable product that I could slip on/off and not worry about.
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