I should also be receiving a package from Crane's office soon with a ton of information about my pre-op and post-op appointments, date/time/location details for the surgery, paperwork to fill out in advance, a formal supplies list, and other information for preparation. I know that this whole thing is going to feel more real when that comes in the mail. The few confirmations I've received so far have been via email between me and Crane's office.
I'm also waiting on a local lawyers office to finish drawing up my will and a durable medical power of attorney. These documents are important for me to have prepared before I undergo a massive surgery in the event that I don't come out of it. I don't want to leave my loved ones in a bad situation because I didn't have my crap together beforehand. I also want to make sure that my partner is the one making medical decisions for me if I'm unable to, rather than the hospital.
I'm also waiting on a local lawyers office to finish drawing up my will and a durable medical power of attorney. These documents are important for me to have prepared before I undergo a massive surgery in the event that I don't come out of it. I don't want to leave my loved ones in a bad situation because I didn't have my crap together beforehand. I also want to make sure that my partner is the one making medical decisions for me if I'm unable to, rather than the hospital.
It's a lot of waiting, a lot of holding my breath, a lot of distracting myself with work, documentaries, or other stuff (like writing this blog).
I have a trans peer-support group meeting tomorrow that I'm looking forward to. I think that'll be a good space for me to feel "seen" and to be around people who truly and deeply get how important and exciting this is for me. It's not the same talking about it with cis people. I don't blame them. I can't imagine being cis and trying to relate to someone who is finally getting a penis in his mid-thirties. That's hard to relate to. Not a whole lot of life events compare to this.
I'm worried a bit about the hair on my forearm. I've already had well over 24 hours of electrolysis over the last 5 months, but with hair cycles it's going to keep on showing up. I can see the little red dots everywhere indicating that more is on its way. Unlike a few months ago, though, these are way more spread out so I'm definitely making a dent. Still, there's no denying that I'll have plenty that'll need removal post-op. I feel confident in saying that I have a very hairy arm. I also think I've been clearing a much bigger area than needed, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.
Almost all of my medical supplies have arrived thanks to the generous contributions friends and family. I curated a list of needs using myregistry.com and received about 2/3rds of my supplies from gifts. I purchased the rest of my list and I'm ready - I may have overprepared. In that event, I plan on sending my extra supplies to folks I know having surgeries in the new year.
I filed for short term disability today, which will cover me for 8 full weeks of paid leave and then pay me at 60% of my salary, but I can and will supplement that with vacation time so that I'm drawing a full salary while I'm out. I get a good amount of vacation days each year, so I'm comfortable using some for my time away. In the event that anything really bad happens and I'm out longer, short-term disability will continue to cover me at 60% salary for up to 22 weeks before rolling into long-term disability. Long-term disability would normally drop that to 50%. In my over-preparedness, however, I elected to pay more in order to up this to 70%, again, for the unlikely event that this surgery (or complications thereafter) puts me out of work longer-term. I also filed for FMLA, which basically protects me from being fired for up to 3 months of a leave. Unfortunately, I only get 3 months a year (which coincidentally starts the first date I initiate the leave), so if I take all 12 weeks for this surgery, I won't have time left to use for Stage 2 unless I wait a full year or chance it. My hope is that I'm only out 8-10 weeks anyway.
If you haven't noticed already, this is a lot to think about and a lot to accomplish in the few weeks leading up to surgery. Somedays I feel overwhelmed, other days I'm grateful to have a place to put my energy, but today I'm simply exhausted by it all. I can't wait for my new penis. Holy crap it's actually happening!!!!!
I have a trans peer-support group meeting tomorrow that I'm looking forward to. I think that'll be a good space for me to feel "seen" and to be around people who truly and deeply get how important and exciting this is for me. It's not the same talking about it with cis people. I don't blame them. I can't imagine being cis and trying to relate to someone who is finally getting a penis in his mid-thirties. That's hard to relate to. Not a whole lot of life events compare to this.
I'm worried a bit about the hair on my forearm. I've already had well over 24 hours of electrolysis over the last 5 months, but with hair cycles it's going to keep on showing up. I can see the little red dots everywhere indicating that more is on its way. Unlike a few months ago, though, these are way more spread out so I'm definitely making a dent. Still, there's no denying that I'll have plenty that'll need removal post-op. I feel confident in saying that I have a very hairy arm. I also think I've been clearing a much bigger area than needed, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.
Almost all of my medical supplies have arrived thanks to the generous contributions friends and family. I curated a list of needs using myregistry.com and received about 2/3rds of my supplies from gifts. I purchased the rest of my list and I'm ready - I may have overprepared. In that event, I plan on sending my extra supplies to folks I know having surgeries in the new year.
I filed for short term disability today, which will cover me for 8 full weeks of paid leave and then pay me at 60% of my salary, but I can and will supplement that with vacation time so that I'm drawing a full salary while I'm out. I get a good amount of vacation days each year, so I'm comfortable using some for my time away. In the event that anything really bad happens and I'm out longer, short-term disability will continue to cover me at 60% salary for up to 22 weeks before rolling into long-term disability. Long-term disability would normally drop that to 50%. In my over-preparedness, however, I elected to pay more in order to up this to 70%, again, for the unlikely event that this surgery (or complications thereafter) puts me out of work longer-term. I also filed for FMLA, which basically protects me from being fired for up to 3 months of a leave. Unfortunately, I only get 3 months a year (which coincidentally starts the first date I initiate the leave), so if I take all 12 weeks for this surgery, I won't have time left to use for Stage 2 unless I wait a full year or chance it. My hope is that I'm only out 8-10 weeks anyway.
If you haven't noticed already, this is a lot to think about and a lot to accomplish in the few weeks leading up to surgery. Somedays I feel overwhelmed, other days I'm grateful to have a place to put my energy, but today I'm simply exhausted by it all. I can't wait for my new penis. Holy crap it's actually happening!!!!!
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